- Iron Man is very good, mostly due to a never-better Robert Downey Jr.
- Twenty-five minutes of commercials and previews, shmenty-five minutes of commercials and previews. Let's be honest here: Most of your customers would just be smoking crack in the bathroom with that time otherwise.
- Infants LOVE loud movies! By no means should you remove your child during the intense parts and, in doing so, deny others of the melodic strains of your baby's screams of terror.
- The numerous warnings to turn off your cell phone are for other people, not you Mr. Very Important Businessteen! Walking slowly to the aisle while answering your is really good enough.
- If you're bringing a very small child to a PG-13 movie, be sure to sit right in the middle of the near-empty theater near the few other patrons, so that everyone can enjoy your many, many conversations
- Shushing your kid is basically child abuse! Don't do it.
- Be sure to answer every question that your child babbles, large or small. If you don't teach her about Iron Man, who will? Who. Will.
- Limit your loud replies to your child's incessant questions to the quiet parts of the movie - you don't know if someone else needs to know that HE'S MAKING THE IRON MAN SUIT HONEY. There may be blind patrons who desperately need your service to determine what's happening.
- If the urgency of your communications demand that they occur during one of the louder parts of the movie, be sure to raise your voice so that your child can be informed that, indeed, IRON MAN IS FIGHTING THE BAD GUYS HONEY
- If you've enraged the other patrons for the last two hours, clear out slightly before the movie's end, abandoning all your trash if necessary. Later suckas!
- Also, never go to the movies.
We'll be following that last piece of advice from here on out.
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